MYSPACE IS EVERYONE'S BUSINESS (SADLY)
July 26, 2008 12:00 AM Parents, get a grip. You need to check what your children are writing about themselves on MySpace.com -- or if they are bullying their peers (or being bullied). Here is a random sampling of what early-teens in Santa Barbara are posting, available to cyber voyeurs, predators and pedophiles that prowl online: • Ruby, about to enter sixth grade at Montecito Union School: "Rape. Get cho p -- -- out of me." • Xavaxgorex, a 15 year-old female. "I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?" • Kelly, 14: "I live in rapetopia." • Harry, just graduated from Santa Barbara Junior High: "Nico sucks big d -- -." • Ashland ("Ash Heart"), a 14-year-old student at La Colina Junior High, pretending to be another girl named Eefje: "I'm Eefje, I'm a whore, I suck c -- -- , all night long, and show guys my p -- -- . Tehehe." • Eefje, also La Colina, 14 masquerading as 29: "I'm sunburned on my v -- -- - and now it's pealing." The Investigator may start attaching full names to Santa Barbara teenage My-Spacers who are so willing to post vile and obscene language, and who bully their peers by e-mail or instant messaging -- with threats they'd never be courageous enough to deliver by voice or in person. Cyber-bullying is now a leading cause of anxiety in adolescents -- a phase of life tough enough to endure without the advent of cowardly instant bullying. Here is an example of an actual cyber-bullying, posted to a young-teen's MySpace site by Danielle, who just graduated from La Colina Junior High: "With your big ole jew nose you're just a motha f -- -- 0xc9 no one likes you anywhere0xc9 and I swear if I see u around its constant death for you no joke." In other places, cyber-bullying has led to teen suicide. Santa Barbara would not welcome this consequence. Many educational Web sites exist for parents to become better acquainted with this ugly new phenomenon -- and to learn about how to work with their children to prevent vile postings and bullying. Simply type "cyber bullying" into your favorite Internet search engine and choose from many offerings. The Investigator will eagerly receive reports of cyber-bullying from readers -- and publish evidence of such for all to see. This column views it as a public service to expose bullies and bigots, whatever their age. • "Bohemian" mid-summer hijinx: Four hundred miles north of Santa Barbara, the USA's most exclusive summer camp is now in session. Bohemian Grove, which occupies 2,700 acres along the Russian River, annually hosts an exclusive fraternity of middle-aged and elderly bigwigs who come to retreat from reality among the redwoods for two weeks. (It is men only, absolutely no women, not even among a staff run by "head valets" who are trained to meet members' every need.) To set the right tone, these old boys enact a pagan ritual called Cremation of Care. Here's how it works: Standing below a 40-foot shrine featuring the club mascot -- an owl named "Molech" -- and dressed in ceremonial red-hooded robes, warriors like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld chant "Be-gone Dull Care -- midsummer sets us free!" The Investigator is not making this up. Then they toss an effigy that they've named Dull Care upon a bonfire to symbolize their collective release from the pressures of everyday life. This apparently sets them free to engage in hijinx, which includes performing musical skits dressed in drag. (Remember Matt Damon in "The Good Shepherd"? It was the only time he smiled throughout the movie.) "BoHos," as they like to call themselves, quaff martinis at 10 in the morning and wander around camp in their pajamas all day long. If they need to take a whiz, well, that's why this place is also known as "the pee on a tree club." Bohemian Grove is divided into 128 luxury camps -- each has 20 to 30 members, with names like Wild Oats, Woof and Cave Man. They're not supposed to talk shop, hence the Grove motto: "Weaving Spiders Come Not Here." Nonetheless, the Manhattan Project, which gave birth to the atomic bomb, was woven at the Grove in the summer of '42. Conspiracy theories therefore abound about the Grove and its campers, about power elite machinations. But the Bohemian brotherhood is, ultimately, about social bondage. Even President "Trick Dick" Nixon, awkward socially, finally bonded with these mis-named Bohemians. He, like every Republican president of the 20th century, confided his candidacy first to his fellow campers -- in one of their "Lakeside Chats" -- before taking it public. About the transvestite productions, Mr. Nixon said, "It is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine." Ronald Reagan surrounded himself at the White House with his Bohemian brotherhood: George Shultz, Caspar Weinberger, James Baker, Donald Regan and William Casey. Confirmed attendees this year include President George H.W. Bush (41), James Baker, Henry Kissinger -- and Jimmy Buffett. The Grove's parent is the Bohemian Club of San Francisco, which was created in 1872 as a haven for genuine bohemians: painters and musicians and actors and writers, including Mark Twain and Jack London. Over time, the rich and powerful hijacked this artistic fraternity into a mostly conservative Republican "our crowd" of industrialists, bankers, lawyers and lobbyists. A Washington, D.C., insider told The Investigator, "The good and the great gather from around the world. There's lots of good food, booze and some high powered speakers." But, he added, "I actually found my time at the Grove boring." Perhaps he did not break camp and venture into the nearby towns of Monte Rio or Guerneville. That's where the real excitement takes place: Some campers are said to "cross the river" -- a Grove euphemism for taking their lust to town. To handle this effort, the local inns swell for two weeks with ladies (and gentlemen) of the night, in from Nevada and elsewhere to liberate these BoHos from dull care.
|